The Wallflower
by MissLxo
Summary: Bella had all she needed in best friend Edward Cullen. When he gets a taste of the popular life, he leaves Bella in the dust. Can she hold it all together, coping with her loneliness and abandonment issues? She has no one but herself. ExB Mature
1. Chapter 1

**Isabella Swan POV**

"I don't even wanna bother to study, these finals are killing my summer buzz," Lauren whined, walking down the steps to the lunch area. Jessica listened intently, nodding her head with a scowl on her face in agreement with her. "Why can't we just skip this and go to First Beach?" She flipped her light brown hair and sits down at their usual table, a few away from mine.

They don't even notice as I walk behind them quietly, smirking at their conversation. _Dumb as doorknobs. _Maybe they'd be smarter if they put more effort into their studies then on their tans. I put down my lunch and iPod touch, and get comfortable at my table near the wall. Nobody sits with me, and that suits me just fine. A few months ago I sat at a table near the middle of the cafeteria, surrounded by many people, but since my only friend deserted me, I now had no one. I'd rather be alone then try to win back perfect, popular Edward Cullen, sophomore King of the school. He was incredibly attractive… and had endless funds, as well as a drool-worthy brand new 2010 black Escalade… but that didn't define him. Scowling, I sneak a peak over at him laughing with people he thinks are his true friends.

Do you really think they have your back, Edward?

Turning away, I can't help but think more about him and the life I used to have. I turn on my iPod and pop the headphones in my ears, the soothing sounds of The Fray's "Happiness" immediately calming me. Pulling out my French bread turkey sandwich and grapes, I slowly eat in relative peace.

We were best friends for over 10 years, growing up in the same upscale neighborhood on the fringe of Forks, playing every day and going to school together. We were nearly inseparable, and I practically lived at their house since my parents couldn't bother to be around. I was very close with the whole Cullen family.

After my mom took off a few years ago, my dad threw himself into starting his own business. He started off in Forks, but his clientele was mainly in Seattle, and he made _a lot_ of money. Charlie bought an upscale condo in the heart of Seattle because he hated commuting. If he's not working 12-hour days at his private Estate and Financial planning business he's wining and dining clients. He started off in Forks, but his clientele was mainly in Seattle, and he made _a lot_ of money. He was a very busy man. Sometimes I think he forgot he even had a daughter.

I used to get sad when he didn't call to check up on me, but now I'm immune to it. Months without contact and shabby excuses for missing holidays are now the norm for me. All the holiday's since I was nine were spent with the Cullens. They took me in and treated me like another daughter. Edward and I were thick as thieves, spending every hour we could together. He'd write music and play his piano while I would sit on his window seat and daydreaming about the future.

A few months ago in October, Edward got a small taste of the glamorous life. The popular and elite clique of Rosalie and Jasper Hale, Emmett McCarty and Tanya Denali started talking to him, and invited him to their annual Halloween party. Within days he changed from the Edward I knew and loved, to a clone of his new friends.

I never saw it coming.

"Bella, stop giving me that look. I'm sorry I blew you off the last few days. I've had other shit to do," Edward said in a tired tone, his face looking contrite. I finally got fed up with the silent treatment he gave me for days and walked to his house for some answers. We were sitting on his front porch, looking at each other under the pale light of the moon. Surprisingly, the night was crisp and clear. I was wrapped up in my black North Face fleece zip-up playing with my zipper. It was early November, and the weather already turned cold and dreary.

I knew he was really sorry, among other things. His face gave him away, every single time. I could read Edward Cullen like my favorite book. Glancing up through my lashes, I waited for him to continue.

"Emmett and Jay keep asking to hang out and I just can't say no to them Bella, I like having fun with the guys… besides, It's always just me and you, and you never liked the idea of going to parties and hanging out with those people." I bit my bottom lip as my fingers started trembling. "When I went to that Halloween party, I didn't think you'd want to go. That's why I didn't bring it up, or make plans with you. It was dumb, but it seemed like the right thing to do." He looked guilty and dejected.

He knew I sat home alone on Halloween, while he partied with his new glorified friends. I wasn't sure if he was apologizing or justifying his actions. I was hurt, extremely hurt. My eyes started welling up with tears, I tried my hardest not to let them spill over. I was at a loss of what to do or say._ Was this my fault? _Was I not good enough?

"So want do you want, Edward? My blessing? Time away from me to spend with your new friends?" I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. I bit my lip, controlling the urge to say something else. Something I'd probably regret.

He nodded, a sad smile on his beautiful lips.

"You'll always be my best friend Bella, it's always been you." Edward looked at me with pleading eyes, walking slowly over to me with open arms. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, gently wrapping my arms around his waist. His arms circled my shoulders, holding me tightly.

I pressed soft kisses into his neck, the silent goodbye to my one and only friend and confidant. I heard him sigh softly, and I hoped he felt as sad as I did. Feeling more alone than ever, I left his house that night for the last time. Reaching the end of his street, I took one last glance at the house of my best friend, the house that was a safe haven.

I didn't fight, or make a scene. Edward got his wish, and was now one of the popular ones. That cold night on his porch was the last time we spoke, and now it's May. Today, Edward is sitting with his crew, wearing a snug fitting black tee, Abercrombie jeans, Armani boxers, and Nike 6.0's on his feet. He's flaunting his family's money and he knows it. Carlisle's private practice is booming, and Esme has made her hobbies of interior design a flourishing business here in Forks and all over Washington.

His friends like him for his money and social status, and Edward's too wrapped up in it care. He's become a shell of a man, clouded by the bright shiny lights of popularity and money.

I roll my eyes at the bunch of them, _as shallow as a puddle. _

A glare from Rosalie brings me out of my inner musings. It's like she knew I was thinking about them. Rosalie isn't nice to anyone, myself included. I never give her pleasure of thinking I give a fuck about what she thinks or does.

I smile sweetly and pluck at what's left of my grapes, egging her on. She huffs and turns back to her table, wrapping her arm around Emmett, her boyfriend. Thankfully, I only have to put up with this nonsense for another week and a half. Next week is end of the year finals then a summer full of blissful loneliness.

_All right Bella, enough of this pity party. _

I chastise myself, and vow to not think negatively. Fiddling with my iPod some more I shuffle my favorites playlist, and daydream. My mind betrays me and drifts off to thoughts about Edward and 'what if's'. Seeing him everyday is painful, but my heart and mind are slowly healing.

Decidedly, I think the chocolate would improve my spirits. Pushing all my things in my slouchy tote bag, I grabbed two dollars from the side pocket to buy a granola bar. Keeping my headphones in, I switch the song to the Fray's "Ungodly Hour," and put on a brave face.

Making my way up to the front, I scoot past Edwards table quickly, avoiding any sort of drama_._ The food area is almost deserted, since most people have purchased their food already. It's been awhile since I've bought anything from the cafeteria, and I can't find where they put my granola bars.

Looking around aimlessly, I feel a tug at my ear bud, "You like this kind, right?"

_Say what?_

Edward stands there quietly, holding the chocolate chunk Chewy granola bar that I'm looking for. _My favorite kind._He's smiling and looking beautiful as usual: green eyed, golden bronze messy hair, and a crooked breathtaking smile with cherry red lips.

My brain and mouth have trouble communicating with each other. I'm sure I look like a complete mute idiot, but this gorgeous horrible man has speechless.

I scratch my head and speak softly, finally finding my voice, "Yeah, thanks." Taking it from him, I start to walk towards the cashier.

"Wait, Bella... Please?"

* * *

A/N: Let me know if you guys have any feedback. I have another chapter in the works and would love to hear your thoughts. This will be a multi-chapter fic. :-)


	2. Chapter 2

**Isabella Swan POV**

"_Wait, Bella... Please?" _

I stopped just in front of the check out counter and turned around to face him, suddenly irritated. "What?" I snapped.

Why was he talking to me now? I wasn't prepared to deal with him today… or any day for that matter. After all this time, I accepted that I wasn't "good enough" for Edward Cullen, not anymore.

I wondered for a second if he missed me as much as I missed him, but I pushed those thoughts aside and looked him directly in the eyes, waiting for him to speak.

For once he looked lost and vulnerable. He shuffled back and forth on his feet nervously, biting his lip. His hands kept roaming around his body, in his pockets, his hair, and finally just resting along his sides. Edward Cullen was fidgeting and nervous. _Why_… because of me?

"How did you know?" I redirected, since he couldn't spit out his words. He looked caught off guard, maybe losing his train of thought.

"Know what?" His confused face was so adorable, his features contorted trying to figure out what I meant. Damn was he beautiful.

"How did you know what I was looking for?" I amended, waiting patiently for his answer. After a beat or two, Edward did something unexpected. _He smiled._ A real, genuine, shiny white teeth smile. It was a smile I knew and loved, one etched in my memory forever.

I couldn't help but frown in response, the memories flooding back to me. _So long since I've seen that smile_… late night movie marathons, laughing and staying up all night watching Star Trek, Edward putting up with my Chris Pine obsession… eating ice cream down at the Dairy Queen, each of us getting twist cones… long afternoons spent at the lake, riding his parents boat and sunbathing…

He spoke softly, the smile still on his lips. "You were obsessed with those things for the longest time…" Shrugging, he continues. "Plus I don't think I've seen you buy anything else from there. And you love chocolate." He said the last bit like it was completely obvious. Okay, so _maybe_ it was. I was pretty addicted to chocolate.

Sighing, I tried to work through his words. His explanation still didn't explain why he was in here now, I saw him buy his food and eat it already. Maybe he was still hungry.

His smile became wider, as if he knew I was inner rambling. It was really hard to be angry with him when he looked at me like that. All beautiful and sincere. Or maybe it was just because he's Edward.

"Well, thanks for helping me." I kept my answer short and to the point, it was all I could come up with.

His smile was mocking me now, and I had to get out of there. Paying for the granola bar, I made a beeline out of the cafeteria, opting to sit outside for the rest of lunch. It was cloudy, but preferable to the now claustrophobic atmosphere inside. I really needed to clear my head.

This whole situation was confusing me, and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to act. I really wanted to ignore him and forget it ever happened.

But then again, I wanted to grab him by the neck and kiss him senseless._ Sigh_.

It was the most horrible of emotions. Hating and loving Edward Cullen. He deserted me, left me friendless. We were best friends, true friends. Now, things were dramatically different. I had to remember that, and what he put me through. I had no friends; the girls at school were shallow and mindless. The few nice girls at Forks High were rare, like Angela, or her friend Lauren. I did really like them, but we only talked in class.

I always kept to myself, and lately I was very lonely.

I had no one to turn to, confide in. He took it all away, and nobody else gave me a chance. I was smart, pretty, and funny. My looks were a bit ordinary, but I enhanced them with make up and other products. I wore nice clothes; Charlie gave me more than enough money to supplement my wardrobe.

It didn't help that I practically lived alone, except Zoila, my housekeeper turned quasi-guardian. She tried to keep my spirits up, but it wasn't the same. She saw me transition from high to low in the course of these few months.

There was another confusing aspect of all this. Edward hung out with the elite and popular of Forks High, yet my Dad was still the wealthiest in the area. He was never around to flaunt it like the Hales or Cullen's, but everyone knew we had millions. The big lonely mansion I lived in and the brand new black Audi Q7 I drove were big indicators.

The mansion I lived in with Ziola had 6 bedrooms, and all the extra bells and whistles. My dad liked to keep up appearances, even if he wasn't here. Even Zoila had a car stashed away in one of the garages, a beautiful white Audi sedan.

I loved spending time with her. She would tell me stories about her childhood and her family in Seattle. She didn't mind living with me, and she took a few weekends a month to visit her children and her grandchildren.

Zoila was always good company, and reminded me of the mother I didn't have anymore. She was good to me, remembered all my favorite foods, knew when I needed cheering up, and knew exactly what fabric softener I liked when washing my sheets.

But there are days that I just missed when I was young, and my dad was content with being a family man, a police officer to the community. When I had a mother who made dinner and dragged us to Sunday mass. That was all over, and the new reality I have been living is still a huge adjustment for me.

Lunch ended and I shuffled inside to my locker. I kept my head down, avoiding anyone and everyone. Today was not my day.

The rest of the school day was a blur; I could hardly pay attention or take proper notes. Some teachers had to ask me questions twice, and I stumbled through wrong answers. They gave me questioning looks, but I shrugged it off. I wasn't on my game, thanks to Edward Cullen.

When the final bell rang, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. _I can finally go home_. Pushing my books into my tote, I bypassed my locker knowing I wouldn't bother doing any homework tonight.

I took out my keys and hit the automatic unlock button, 20 yards away from the Audi. The lights flashed, indicating it was ready and waiting.

Only a few steps away, I heard that achingly familiar voice, out of breath and panting. Turning around, Edward stood a few feet away from me, catching his breath. His cheeks were a slight pink, and in any other circumstances, I would have found it absolutely adorable.

"Who knew little legs could move so fast?" Edward said, a small smirk on his face.

I was in no mood for small talk. "What do you want now, Edward?" My voice was soft, but he could hear the irritation I had.

"You didn't let me finish earli-" he started justifying, but I cut him off again.

"_You _couldn't spit it out."

Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked at me intensely, his green eyes bright and shiny. _Why did he have to be so beautiful? _He made it impossible to harbor negative feelings about him. I held my tongue, giving him the chance to speak. He didn't deserve my rude behavior… not completely. I had to be the better person.

"I – I wanted to say hi… and see how you were doing?" He sounded like he was questioning his own motives. He started running his fingers through his erratic hair. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. I've wanted to talk to you for so long, but… I just couldn't do it. I was afraid to approach you… I knew I should have anyway. Today I saw you looking for your granola bar, and I just knew right then I had to do something. I guess I finally grew a pair of balls." He chuckled, and looked at me sheepishly.

It took me a minute to process everything Edward had just said. I wasn't even sure how to respond to his rambling, it was all so confusing. Months and months with no communication, and now he wants to talk? Be friends again? Yay. _Ugh._

I missed him more than I ever wanted to admit, but he hurt me so much.

"Um… well hey? I've been just peachy." I gave him a small smile, playing with the frayed handles on my tote bag. "Thanks for the help earlier," I added, trying to play nice. I wasn't sure what else to say, because this conversation could turn ugly any minute.

He didn't miss a beat. "No problem, _Bella_. Like I said, it gave me the opportunity to talk to you." Smiling again, he took a step closer. I took a step back, keeping a safe distance between us. It was better this way. He_ needed_ to know I had boundaries.

Looking disappointed, Edward spoke again, "So I was hoping we could hang out sometime? Talk, maybe?" He looked so hopeful, a small glow on his cheeks. I aimlessly ran my fingers through my hair, thinking about his request.

So this wasn't a joke. He was being sincere and wanted to make amends, right? I couldn't process this information lightly. If I gave myself hope, Edward Cullen could crush me again. I wasn't completely sure I could survive that. Once was enough.

There was a fine line between what I wanted to do, and what I needed to do.

In the end, the facts remained the same. The months of loneliness and solitude weren't forgotten, and the blatant disregard for our friendship hurt me more than he knew. I thought I meant more to him than that. _I thought I was special_.

I wasn't good enough then, _so why was I now?_ Honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

Locking on a decision, I took a deep breath. Inhale, exhale.

"Edward, I… I just don't think it's a good idea." I could hardly say the words, our eyes locked in a gaze, chocolate brown to forest green.

"Why not? C'mon Bella… we _need_ to talk." He was pleading; his eyes grew soft and his lips turned into a pout. I turned away quickly, moisture developing in my eyes.

"I'm just not ready." It was pure honesty. I couldn't tell him I wasn't sure whenI _would _be ready. A few salty tears leaked over, and I decided to let them fall freely. I wrapped my arms around my torso, holding myself together. He was emotionally draining me. This was not what I was expecting when I woke up this morning.

"I'm going to head home."

Edward looked so sad. He nodded once solemnly, knowing this conversation was over. Walking up to me, he cupped my cheek, running the pads of his thumbs over my tears, brushing them away. I flinched slightly but that didn't deter him.

"This isn't over, Swan. I won't let you go again…" He spoke with sheer determination and resolve. "This is all my fault, and I'm gonna fucking fix it."

I nodded my head and he leaned in to kiss my wet cheek. "Drive safe, Bella, please."

The Audi purred quietly and I left the parking lot without one look back at Edward.

The house was quiet and dark, and I saw some double chocolate cookies and a note from Zoila on the counter, saying she was taking the night off. I swear she had a sixth sense about things, knowing when I would need a pick-me-up. Dashing up to my room, I stripped off my clothes and put on my favorite sweats, and Edward's old Track t-shirt. My bed made a whishing sound as I pounced on it, snuggling into the pillows.

_Thank you, Zoila._ My bedding was freshly washed and smelled like Tide. Crawling under my blanket, I closed my eyes and thought back to this crazy-bizarre day.

_Was it a dream? _

I pinched myself and looked at the clock. 3:34 p.m. Damn, it really did happen.

I relaxed in my bed for the next hour, unable to sleep. The rest of the night was filled with homework, thinking about Edward, eating cookies, thinking about Edward, and trying _not _to think about Edward.

Deciding that a run would clear my head, I put on a different t-shirt, shorts and running shoes. Left, right. Left, right. I fell into a familiar pace, jogging along the streets of my neighborhood. My leg muscles burned, but I kept pushing myself farther, to run faster. I ran passed the Hale house, noticing a few cars littered in the driveway. Thankfully, Edward wasn't there. Although we lived in the same neighborhood, I ignored his street. I couldn't bring myself to go down that road, literally and figuratively. Not right now.

It started drizzling by the time I came home, all sweaty and breathing heavily.

After a refreshing shower and a snack, I put Edwards shirt back on, needing a little Cullen comfort. It was just after 10 p.m. and I was exhausted, mentally and physically.

_What a day_.

The rain picked up to a steady pour and the sound relaxed me, putting me to sleep within minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own a single thing. But I make some awesome brownies.

* * *

**Isabella Swan POV**

Damnit. I was going to be _so_ late.

I ran a brush through my tangled, hair, and smeared on some lip-gloss, hoping to look somewhat presentable. Sighing, I shut off the bathroom light and rushed downstairs for a chocolate chip muffin and my keys.

Sliding into my ballet flats, I was out the door running to my car.

I had slept amazingly last night, a solid 9 hours of blissful unconsciousness. Yesterday completely drained me, and I was grateful for the recovery time.

_Unfortunately_, I slept through my alarm this morning and had gotten ready in record time, a whole five minutes. Thank god I showered last night, or I would be Isabella Swan, _hot mess_.

Surprisingly, even with five minutes, I still looked great. I wore dark jeans and a blue and cream wrap sweater, with a sash that tied right under my bust. Even though it was May, I always seemed to be cold. My complexion has been thankfully clear, so I didn't need to busy myself with makeup.

I tried to push the speed limits, but I had it engrained in my mind to follow the law, something Charlie taught me back when he drove around in a police cruiser. Thankfully I only pulled into the parking lot only a few minutes late.

Rushing inside to my locker, I opened it and was immediately shocked. How did _that_ get in here?

Dangling from a hook was a stunning pink carnation, beautifully in bloom. It's petals a pigmented pink, truly gorgeous. Attached to it was a handwritten note. I knew exactly who it was from. I braced myself for his words.

_Bella, you outshine this flowers beauty. It represents words you won't let me say. I'm not giving up, but we'll do this your way. I'll spend forever trying to get back in your good graces, because you're worth every second. Edward. _

My fingers grazed over his beautiful handwriting, his moving words. A tear escaped from my eye. He just didn't play fair. I pulled the carnation up to my nose, taking in its fragrance. It smelled like fresh rain, clean and pure.

I looked around and realized I still was in an empty, deserted hallway. Taking one last glance at the carnation, I put it back where he placed it and grabbed my textbooks. Racing off to class, Mr. Molina didn't seem bothered that I was late. Nobody else gave me a second glance. Since finals were next week, this week was just a wrap-up of everything we learned in the semester, and what we should focus on when studying. I carefully took notes, trying to make up for yesterday's slacking. When the bell rang, I walked up to Mr. Molina, apologizing for my late arrival.

"Don't worry, Bella. You've never been late before. Things happen." He smiled and sent me off on my way. I was pleasantly surprised he was so accommodating. I guess being punctual regularly paid off. The rest of the morning went by quickly, being that each class was much of the same. Finals this, finals that.

I was so glad that the weekend was only two days away, and summer vacation was within reach. All these new developments with Edward made me grateful for school to be ending.

I had no idea of what I wanted. Well, that's a lie. I knew _exactly_ what I wanted. I wanted Edward back in my life, and for things to go back to how they were. But I knew that was unrealistic, and never going to happen. I had no idea where that left me.

I needed _time_, time to think things through, and I guess from the note, he was going to give it to me.

The lunch bell rang, and I made my way over to my locker again, only to be confronted with a disgruntled Edward.

"Where were you this morning?" His tone was accusatory, like he thought I was avoiding him. Hah, if only.

"Was running late, is that a crime, Cullen?" I shot back at him, he didn't need to be so unfriendly.

"No, I was just waiting for you. Did you see-"

"How did you get my locker combination?" I cut him off; I was getting good at redirecting our conversations.

Edward blushed, and glanced at the floor. This gave me a chance to look at him for a brief second. He was wearing dark jeans like me, and a plain white t-shirt. He looked so… _normal_. Nothing flashy except for the Nikes on his feet, but those were his signature shoes. That man loved his shoes, and that little quirk made me smile.

"You have it written in your planner… on the second page. I remember seeing in when school started and I memorized it, you know, just in case you forgot." He shrugged, his lips pulling into a small dazzling smile.

With his answer, I was brought back to the Edward I loved, kind and thoughtful. He knew my memory got the best of me sometimes. He knew everything about me.

At least he used to, I was different now.

"Thanks, Edward… really. But all this?" I motioned with my hand to my locker and him, "I haven't wrapped my head around it all yet." My voice was quiet, even for me.

"Okay, but I'm still not giving up, so don't get annoyed with me," he joked, brushing an errant lock of hair away from his face.

"Ohhh, never with you," I responded sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him.

We both took off to lunch together, walking very closely. His head kept turning in my direction, a wide smile on his face. I knew Edward well enough to know his emotions, and he was glad I was being amicable.

His arm brushed against mine a few times, and I was pretty sure it was all intentional. Edward was always very touchy feely. I usually didn't mind in the past… but _now_? It made my head all cloudy and fuzzy. I put a small, but noticeable space between us and kept up with his pace.

Jessica and Lauren gawked at us right away as we entered the left side of the cafeteria. Did everyone forget that I was friends with him before? Seriously. Deciding to play, I winked at each of them, and they immediately looked down at their lunches.

Edward's usual tablemates were also staring, but some didn't have the facial expressions I expected to see. Emmett looked happy, Jasper too. Maybe Edward told them about me? Rosalie looked like she could care less, but Tanya had my favorite reaction. Her scowl put the Wicked Witch of the West to shame. _If looks could kill._

Tanya Denali and Edward Cullen have never dated, but the whole population of Forks High School all knew that she desperately wanted to. It was sad, really, I almost felt for her. But then I remembered how she usually scowled at me, and I kept those thoughts at bay. She didn't deserve my sympathy.

Edward was oblivious to the whole thing. It was actually pretty funny, was he usually this dense?

"Well, thanks for walking me."

"No problem ma'am. Your hallway safety is of utmost concern to me," he replied, standing up straighter and saluting me. His stance didn't last long, and he burst out laughing.

"Geeze, thanks for your _concern_, " I scowled at him. It wasn't my fault I was completely gravity challenged. Sometimes I just fell down.

Rolling my eyes, I started walking off but felt a tug on my left wrist.

"Wait, can I sit with you?" He looked sheepish, nervously waiting for my answer.

Well,_ this_ was new. I guess it couldn't be so bad, if he didn't talk too much. But I had to ask one question.

"Why?" It was simple enough.

"Well, I wanted to get some reading in," Edward reached in his bag and pulled out a banged up copy of Tom Fielding's _Tom Jones_. "It's for lit, and I never have enough focus to do it at home."

"You can't read at your normal table?" I countered.

"It's quieter over there by you."

"But today I was going to play my harmonica and bang on my tambourine," I challenged.

"Shut up and let me sit with you, Bella. I won't bite."

"Fine, but don't eat my food." Shaking my head, I made my way over to my corner of the cafeteria table, silently hoping he'd turn and go to his own table.

No such luck. I'm sure whoever wasn't gossiping about us before, was definitely now with this new development. Edward A. Cullen sitting at lunch with Bella M. Swan.

The whole lunch hour Edward kept his word, reading silently and eating his own food. A few times he would peer over the book and smile, his face serene and happy, and every single time it made me melt inside.

Even though he was making me all mushy-gushy, I had to remain focused. We could be friends, but with limits. Boundaries. Lines that couldn't be crossed. Basically, I called the shots. It seemed fair to me.

The bell rang and as we parted ways I called out to him.

"Edward?"

"Yeah, B?" He replied, a wide grin on his face, those perfect cherry lips.

"Thanks for the carnation, it's beautiful."

"Just like you, Bella, just like you," Edward said smoothly, he winked and turned around, making his way towards his locker.

The next two days passed with much of the same. Edward would smile at me and talk to me occasionally. He sat quietly with me at lunch, reading or just eating. Sometimes we would make polite conversation. I really liked the way things were going. He never pushed, never pried. There was a natural progression to things, and I was happy with that.

When we exited the cafeteria together on Friday, a grim looking Rosalie and a beaming Emmett accosted us.

"Hey guys, you want to hang with us this tonight?" Emmett asked, grinning at us.

"Um…." I was at a loss for words. This was unexpected, hanging out with Emmett? I wasn't even friends with him.

I glanced sideways at Edward, who appeared amused. He was shaking his head at Emmett, but was smiling nonetheless.

"I bet Bella has plans, Em." Edward replied, looking from me to Emmett.

Me, have plans? Hah, _not likely_.

"We were just gonna grab some pizzas and rent some DVD's, something chill… you know?" I'm not sure if it was possible, but Emmett's smile got bigger. He looked so eager. "Please, Bella? We gotta get to know each other if Edward's gonna be hanging all over you. Please, _please_?"

Then he did something I never expected he would ever do. 6'4'' strong, tough, Emmett McCarty stuck out his bottom lip and pouted, giving me sad puppy dog eyes.

My resistance was crumbled, and I couldn't say no. Who could?

"Sure, I guess. Why don't you guys come over to my place? Say 7?" I offered, shrugging my shoulders.

My house would be empty, and the media room hadn't been used in a long time. I did love those cushy leather reclining loveseats my dad picked out when he redecorated the room. He originally thought it would be for Sundays and football, or watching the Mariners in the spring. The screen was huge, and perfect for a movie night.

"Yesssss! I've been dying to check out the biggest house in Forks." Emmett said, clearly excited.

"Guess we'll see you later Bella, Edward," Rosalie added.

"Well, you guys can ask Edward if you need directions. See you later." I gave them each a quick smile and stalked off to my locker. Edward was hot on my heels.

"Your house, huh?" He questioned.

"Yeah, what about it?" It wasn't _that _big of a deal. I was just being friendly after all.

"You just don't really like having people over… You would always come to my house. I can't remember the last time I was at yours. So what gives?" His logic made sense. I much preferred Edward's house, but he didn't know why.

I loved spending time at his home because of him and his family, Carlisle and Esme. They always made me feel at home. It was much preferred to the quiet loneliness of Casa Swan.

"I feel like some company, all right? It's been a pretty empty house lately." I frowned, looking at the ugly hallway floor. Why did I need to explain myself?

"Hey… " Edward put his hand under my chin and slowly lifted it up, bringing my eyes to his. "I just was curious. I didn't mean to upset you." He looked regretful. "So… your dad hasn't been around?"

This was definitely something I _didn't _want to talk about. I kept my answer short and to the point.

"Nope, haven't seen him since Spring Break."

"What?" Edward almost yelled.

Several students looked towards us, shocked looks on their faces. I quickly ignored them and focused on Edward. His hands were balled up in fists at his sides, he was slightly leaning forward, anger seeping from him.

"Are you serious, Bella? That's fucking _neglect_." His green eyes turned darker, angrier.

"_That_ is none of your concern," I fired back at him. "I'm not talking about this anymore. See you tonight." I slammed my locker shut and ran off to class before he could follow.

Edward and I had a lot to talk about and things to work through our relationship, but Charlie wasn't one of them.

While I sat in the back of the classroom, all I could think about was Edwards face when he said the word neglect. His mouth was set in a hard line, his eyes wild and vicious. But mainly what I remembered was his attitude. Where did he get off thinking he had the right to talk to me about my dad? He knew exactly how Charlie was. Things haven't changed. They were never going to.

Shaking my head, I tried to rid myself of negative thoughts and memories. I needed to focus. Diligently, I took notes to review for the rest of the hour, and kept my mind on school for the rest of the day.

As I was exiting the doors, I knew Edward was probably waiting for me. Our conversation was far from over. Like I knew he would be, Edward was leaning against the hood of my Audi, looking casual and beautiful, mostly contrite.

Walking closer, I prepared myself for his little speech, since I knew he would need to get all his emotions out.

"Hey B… I'm so so _so_ sorry about raising my voice to you. You didn't deserve that. You know I'm not mad at you, right? Just your dad... Your lousy excuse for a father." He grimaced, and shook his head. "But that doesn't give me the right to talk to you that way. I just got worked up when you told me. I mean seriously, why doesn't he come home?"

_Sigh. I don't know either, Edward. _

He reached for my small hands, clasping them in his big ones. His eyes looked directly into mine. Green to brown.

"Really… you know I'm trying to make things right here. Between you and me. And I have a lot of work left to do, and I don't want you to start thinking badly of me now. I'm just protective of you, you know?" Edward said.

I smiled fondly at him, remembering a time when we were in grade school. Edward got in a lot trouble in the 3rd grade when he pushed Mike Netwon off the tall slide on the playground. He did it because he saw me crying behind a tree and when I told him Mike made fun of me for my mom leaving, he was so angry. Even Esme called the school to report Mike, after Edward told her the whole story.

"Bella, earth to Bella?" Edward tapped my head with his index finger. "Anyone home?"

"Yeah, sorry. Just got lost in thought," I shrugged.

"So you're not mad at me, right?" He looked so cute and hopeful, but I was going to be honest.

"You have no right talking about Charlie. You know the situation, and I'm fine with it, really. Can we not bring it up again?" Pleading, I gave him a crooked smile and my best puppy dog eyes, just like Emmett.

"Ugh, fine. You win!" He acquiesced. "I just hate knowing you're home alone all the time."

Did he really just say that? Really, Edward. _Really? _Now I was angry with him.

"You know Edward, you didn't care up until a few days ago," I all but yelled at him. I knew it was a low blow, but couldn't not say it. He deserved it. I'd been more than nice to him about the whole situation, and I didn't want to regret my previous behavior.

He blanched at me, his mouth forming a small "o". Putting his hands in his jean pockets, he started pacing in front of my car. He continued for about a two minutes, before taking a few deep breaths.

"Bella, I…. fuck, you can't believe that, can you? I've always fucking worried about you, but I knew I fucked things up. I didn't know how to fix it. You intimidated me! I couldn't just go up and talk to you, I thought you'd rip my balls off, I knew I hurt you…"

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I guess we had to deal with this sooner or later. All my feelings were pent up, and I needed to let some loose. Edward deserved to know how I truly felt.

"Actions speak louder than words, Edward. You ignored me, for _months._ Fucking months. Sorry if I find it hard to believe you missed me," I said, my voice strong and full of hostility. "And you know what?" I continued, "We keep doing this. The whole talk at school, argue, then hash it out in the parking lot. I'm pretty sick of it. I just want to go home!"

I was getting so frustrated. He said one thing, but did another. How was I supposed to sort it all out? I needed a fucking guide to understanding Edward Cullen. Things were not simple anymore.

Edward was quiet for a moment, taking in my words. A look of desolation came over his face, contorting his features into sadness and anguish.

"You don't think I don't know that, Bella? I fucked up, _royally_. I wanted to fix it right away but I knew you were angry. So I kept putting it off, thinking if I gave you some time things would mend better."

"_Mend better_? What the fuck does that mean!" I spat, becoming infuriated. How is that even logical?

"It seemed right at the time… I thought if I gave you some space, you'd cool down then be able to forgive me easier. Obviously the opposite happened," Edward said, sounding so dejected. His fingers wound through his hair, pulling at his scalp. He was truly hurting over this.

"Bella… I just want to make things right. That's all I've ever wanted, it just took me a long time to work up the courage. I thought about you every single day, I never forgot about you. That's the only fucking answer I have for you, and I'll leave you alone right now if you say it's not good enough, if that's what you really want. I'll respect your wishes."

At this point, Edward's face was masked by his hands, covering his beautiful green eyes, which I knew were sad and uncertain. He was giving me a choice, putting the ball in my court.

Taking deep breaths, I slowly closed my eyes and thought about the situation perceptively.

Humans make mistakes; it's in our make-up. We do things we regret, make choices that aren't the best. Nobody is perfect, including Edward Cullen.

My life was full of my own mistakes, regrets, and bad choices.

Imagining life without Edward was hard, maybe impossible. He truly seemed sorry and regretted his actions. Clearly willing to pay for his mistakes, was _I _to give him the benefit of the doubt?

Forgiveness is divine, _right?_

This situation was fucked up on many levels, but I had to do right by my conscience, and my heart.

I opened my eyes and took in the sight before me. Edward was silent, his eyes closed, a tear escaping and trailing down his cheek. His cheeks were flushed, and his lips were cherry red and looking slightly chapped. In his pockets his hands stayed fisted, his arm muscles flexed and anxious. And most of all, he was still, ever so still. It was almost an eerie sight, yet he was absolutely breathtaking.

Edward Cullen was still the most beautiful man to me, outside and in.

In that moment, I understood some very important things.

If Edward had faith in fixing our relationship and wanted to sincerely fix things, then I needed to have faith that he would prove himself to me, and show the goodness in him I knew was buried deep down. It wasn't going to be easy, but I needed this just as much as he did, I could never deny that. _Time_ would only tell.

I cleared my throat and spoke softly. "Do you want to go to the Thriftway with me? I thought instead of ordering pizza we could all make our own. Maybe grab some other snacks?"

My smile was genuine and wide, and I hoped he understood the meaning behind my words. He had miles to go to get back in my good graces, but I was willing to give him a chance.

After a long sigh of relief, Edward smiled and nodded his head. "Sounds great, B."

Walking up to me, he enveloped me in a tight embrace, almost making it hard to breathe. I wouldn't have had it any other way. Holding Edward felt so good, _so right_. His heavy breathing gradually slowed and his right hand moved to cup the back of my head, his face nuzzling my hair.

We stayed that way for a few minutes, before I slowly released him and spoke.

"We have a lot of talking to do, but maybe tomorrow… or Sunday? Let's just have fun tonight. I have to figure out Emmett and Rosalie."

Edward laughed and hopped in the passenger side, buckling in. "Don't worry, they know how much of a jackass I was… and am, especially to you. They kind of know the whole story," the last bit he said very quickly, leaving me stunned and speechless. He just shrugged.

I started the car, the engine quietly purring, and we took off to the grocery store for our movie night supplies. Tonight would interesting.

* * *

**A/N:** This took awhile for me, sorry for the delay! I just couldn't figure out the right way to configure everything. Have faith in Bella and me!

Also, if anyone reading this is interested, I am also looking for a beta and/or pre-reader on this story, so PM me if you are interested!

Review if you like. :-) Lawruhn


	4. Chapter 4

**Isabella Swan POV**

I was just being _nice_. I was being the better person, giving Edward the benefit of the doubt. Giving him a chance to prove himself as a person to me, but also to himself. When he ended our friendship, it didn't just affect me. I understood that enough, because it changed Edward too, and I was starting to see those subtle differences the past few days. He was much more outward about his feelings, as he _should _be.

But now, while walking down the cereal isle, the cart's wheels annoyingly squeaking, I couldn't help but think about my decision. Was everything happening too soon?

Of course it was, but life just happened that way, I guess. I had to go with the flow, adapt to change, or things would forever remain the same.

That was the last thing I wanted. But I also didn't want them to go back to how they were. I wanted to be happy. _Truly_.

High school drama and the way of the world were curious things, and I had a fucking hard time understanding it all.

I haven't forgiven Edward, and I'm sure he knows that. We have months of my pent up anger and resentment to discuss, and whatever else comes up along the way. I'm certain once the time came to _really _talk, it won't be pretty.

But that time wasn't now, and I wanted to make the most of movie night, since I was the hostess, but most importantly - because I wanted to try to be a _normal _high school student and have fun, be with _friends_.

I wasn't completely sure that's what Emmett and Rosalie were, but that's what their intentions seemed like… Emmett seemed happy, sincerely excited about hanging out tonight. And with the fact that he and Rosalie knew all about Edward and my history, it should make for an interesting night.

_Thwack. Thud. Thud. Thud._

"Damnit," I said, knocking into a display of Frosted Flakes, causing a few boxes to topple over all over the floor. "Just my luck… just my fucking luck," I kept on rambling, bending over to pick them up. "I don't want Frosted Flakes, or a fucked up life."

"Hey, don't worry about that!" A high-pitched voice squealed from behind me, "I work here, let me pick those up! You keep on shopping!"

Turning around, I looked to the source of the voice. Much shorter than me, a girl about my age was skipping towards the sight of my careless crash. She had the prettiest black hair, sleek and shiny. It reached below her shoulders in subtle and soft waves, framing her small angular face. She looked very energetic, which made sense because of the way she talked.

"Really," I said, picking up two boxes, "I can help. I'm the cause anyway. Trust me, if you follow me around the store I'm sure they'll be more accidents like this." I smiled.

The girl giggled, quickly picking up the remaining boxes, putting them back perfectly. I arched a brow at her when she seemed to be lining them up symmetrically.

"Yeah, yeah," she sighed, knowing exactly what was on my mind, "I have OCD. I only work here to help with my tendencies!" She waved her hand at the rest of the shelves in the isle, which after a second look, where absolutely perfectly aligned. Each row was even, precise and in glorious order. This girl was _good._ I was stunned.

Then she started bouncing around, twirling in the hallway, and continuing to talk to me.

"I only work here because I get _so _bored at home, plus the OCD thing. My mom home schools me because she thinks high school is corrupting teenagers. _Honestly_! I'm dying every day for human interaction, and you've just made my day, Bella Swan!" she exclaimed, pirouetting in front of me. Her energy was radiating.

Where was Edward when I needed him? Esme had called for him to pick up a few things for her, so he was stuck grabbing apples and pork chops. Now I was left alone to deal with this eccentric girl in the cereal isle that happened to know my name.

"H-how?" I asked, clearly confused. I was absolutely certain I didn't know her.

"Jasper told me," she rambled, like it was obvious. "He comes in here a lot and rambles to me, I think he likes me! But he doesn't really know what to say, so he just goes on about nonsense about his friends and school. I really wish I could go to school with you guys!" You guys? Now I was even more confused. Jasper Hale and I were _not_ friends…

"_Ugh," _she continued_, _"Anyway, you look like his description, so I just knew it was you! You are _so_ pretty, just like he said. But he has to think I'm prettier – cause he comes in here just to talk to me! Me, Alice Brandon. Nice to meet you," she extended her hand, a huge smile on her face.

This girl could _definitely_ talk without breathing.

"Um, yeah. Nice to meet you too." I replied, extending my hand, shaking it with her small delicate one. "You are really pretty too, I bet Jasper has a crush," I shrugged offering her some solace. Why else would a guy always come in a grocery store? He couldn't always be hungry.

"That's exactly what I think too! He always gets so nervous around me, it's absolutely adorable! He blushes and I just want to kiss him! He's so _dreamy_…" she trailed off, obviously lost in her own thoughts.

Pushing the cart forward, I thought best to find Edward and get home. I wasn't sure how much more of this girl I could handle, since talking and interacting weren't my strong suits.

"I'm sure I'll be seeing you around here, Alice. It was nice meeting you," I said with a friendly wave and a genuine smile.

"Yes you will, Bella, yes you will!" Twirling and spinning in circles again, she made her way down the opposite end of the isle, and I took off to the next one, searching for Edward.

I found him twenty minutes later, after I gathered all of our pizza making supplies, plus a few extras. He looked absolutely adorable and perplexed, looking at all the types of apples. He looked my way when I giggled at him.

"Don't laugh, she didn't tell me what kind! How am I supposed to know?" He exclaimed frowning at me, clearly exasperated, his right hand tugging at his golden brown locks.

"Hey, don't sweat it. Just grab those pinky-red ones. They're Gala's, and I'm pretty sure they'll work just fine." I consoled him, rubbing his shoulder lightly, my overly emotional Edward. It had been a long few days for him too.

"Three?" He sighed, and I nodded. Grabbing a clear produce bag, I helped him pick out the best looking ones, and we put them in the cart, walking slowly to the checkouts.

I thought it best to confront him about Emmett, Rosalie and apparently Jasper knowing about our situation. It only made sense since I was going to be dealing with it tonight. The last thing I wanted to do was be unprepared for questions that I'm sure were coming.

"So…" I brilliantly started, loading the belt up with our groceries. "Emmett knows, Rosalie and Jasper too?"

"Yeah, they didn't at first." Edward said, shrugging his shoulders, avoiding my gaze. "But after awhile they realized I wasn't… you know, talking to you anymore. So I told them about what happened."

"Hey," I softly called, reaching to grab his hand. I squeezed it, trying to comfort him again. His anguish and pain crushed me; I couldn't bear to see him upset. My eyes locked with his, and I tried to show him that I knew he was sorry.

"Do they think…" I stuttered, cautiously wondering, "um, do they think it's my fault?"

Edward released my hand, laughing and a shifty grin now on his face. "Not in the slightest. Yours truly," he pointed to himself, "almost got the biggest ass-whopping from Emmett. He was pissed. Trust me, they're all on Team Bella."

_Interesting. _

I took out Charlie's AMEX Black Card and swiped it, paying for the groceries, and thanked the cashier with a brief smile.

"Have a good night," I politely told her, pushing the now bagged groceries towards the exit.

Edward scowled, "I could've paid half, you know."

"I'm the host!" I scoffed, "and plus it's not often when I get to do things like this. Just give me this one."

"Fine, but next time you're not spending a dime."

"Just a nickel, then." I giggled, winking at him.

Setting off, we drove to Edwards first to drop off Esme's things. The rest of the ride home was quiet, the streets of Forks serene and peaceful, with a hint of sun peaking out from behind the dense green foliage.

A few minutes into the drive, Edward reached over the center console and grabbed my hand, holding it softly in his. He didn't intertwine our fingers, but he would occasionally brush his thumb across my knuckles with slight pressure, soothing and relaxing me.

This was_ definitely_ blurring the lines of our friendship. I smiled inwardly, thanking the heavens for answered prayers.

Did Edward like me _more _than a friend? Did Edward know that I _liked_ him? Even with all the hurt and pain in the past, the huge, crazy schoolgirl crush on beautiful, dreamy Edward Cullen still existed.

Entering our neighborhood, Edward hit the button on the garage, opening it when we were at my driveway. I shut the car off, and raised an eyebrow to Edward, glancing at our hands. He slyly pulled our clasped hands to his lips, kissing the back of my hand gently and sweetly.

"I still hate your guts," I said, tugging my hand away. It was a lie, but I really needed some personal space.

Thoughts of kissing Edward were now clouding my head. And kissing Edward would be counterproductive, right?

"I know, I'll work on it." Smirking, he opened the back hatch and grabbed most of the grocery bags, leaving me with the least heavy one.

Walking through the backdoor, we brought all the groceries into my kitchen. Zoila was skirting about the kitchen and dining room with a duster, singing to her iPod. She didn't notice us come in, and I giggled at her. Her head swayed with the beat, her dark brown curly hair bouncing around.

"Zoiiiiiiila!" I said in a singsong voice.

"Ah!" She exclaimed, pulling out her ear buds. "Hi honey… and who is this handsome man?" she asked, her brow arched.

"Oh Z, you remember Edward," I shrugged. For her, I guess it was hard to remember Edward, since his previously buzzed hair was now long and shaggy, his baby face replaced by chiseled features, and he was now towering over 6 ft. My beautiful Edward.

"_Oh_! Let me get a good look at you, Eddie boy," Zoila exclaimed, her face breaking out into a huge smile. She always loved having him around, and he especially loved her cooking. She was like a second mom to him.

"Hi Z," Edward said shyly and a bit apprehensively, "I've missed you." His face contorted into a sad smile, full of regret. Edward's admission was heartfelt and I knew it to be true.

Taking two steps, he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. They embraced for a minute, and Edward smiled down at Zoila, his face full of sorrow. She mouthed something up at him that I couldn't see, and he shook his head, whispering solemnly, "Never again… never ever again."

Releasing each other, both Edward and Zoila were finally smiling, possibly at their understanding. Two of my most favorite people, reunited again.

It made my heart swell at the thought of more of my life settling into a happy place.

I couldn't help but smile too.

Once the groceries were put away, and Zoila had a chance to pester Edward for an hour about updates on his life, I was finally able to shoo her away for the rest of the night, giving her multiple promises that Edward would be back again and she could try out some new recipes on him.

"Whew," I blew out a big breath, sinking into the couch pillows next to Edward. He had his eyes closed, but I knew he was awake. "Who knew she could be so persistent?"

Edward shrugged, curling up closer to me. His voice was just above a whisper. "I don't think I've talked that much… _ever_. She wanted to know about everything!"

"Hey," I replied softly, lightly trailing my fingers across his arm, hoping he would open his eyes. When he finally did I gave him a genuine smile, "She just missed you, that's all."

Sighing, Edward rearranged his legs and body, making a spot for me between them. "C'mere," he called, pulling my back against his front. Wrapping his strong arms around me, he softly said, "I missed her too."

The moment was truly remarkable. Edward seemed perfectly content with our position, so I took advantage of that and leaned back onto him, nestling myself further in his sweet embrace. His heartbeat was steady and strong, and I had a hard time not letting it lull me to sleep. I wasn't sure how long we stayed in those positions, but I was starting to think about giving Rosalie and Emmett a rain check…

The light danced through the big bay windows of the living room, the sun fading slowly. Everything was perfectly quiet except for his breathing and mine.

Shifting my head to the side I nuzzled my nose into his neck, breathing in his scent.

Edward sharply inhaled, startled by my sudden movements. "What are you doing?" He questioned, his whole body rigid and stiff.

"Iono… sorry," I shrugged and gave him a regretful look. I really wasn't sure what I was trying to do, maybe just feel closer to Edward? Being close to him surely blurred all the carefully drawn lines I had drawn, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. I had to take what I could get, before Edward left again. Trying to peel my body from his, I struggled to get up off the couch.

"Wait, what? Where are you going?" Edward grabbed my hips to pull me back down flush with his body. My body suddenly hit a part of his anatomy that was very _hard_.

"Oh!"

"Fuck. I'm sorry Bella," he muttered embarrassingly.

I was frozen, unsure of what to do. Edward was hard because of _me_?

"Edward," I said in an impossibly soft voice after a few seconds, locking my eyes to his. "It's okay, really. I was just… surprised." Giving him a meek shrug, he seemed to calm down minimally.

"Was… was it the nuzzling? Too much?" I rushed out, trying to figure out this puzzle. I bit my bottom lip, awaiting his answer.

"That got me hard?" he responded, laughing at me.

"Yes!" I really did want to know… _maybe_ to see if I could do it again?

Edward was really laughing at me now, clutching his stomach, his eyes light and shining.

"It's not that funny…" I muttered. I just wanted to know.

His beautiful eyes turned darker, and he placed his hands on both sides of my cheeks, purposely making me look at him. "Silly, silly, beautiful girl. It's everything that you do. The way you talk, the way you move, the way you look, just everything. And yes, the way you nuzzle."

"Why everything?" I questioned, pressing for more information.

"Because," Edward started, his fingers now stroking my cheekbones, my jaw, tucking my hair back behind my ears. His touch was incredibly soft; it made me feel so cherished. "It's just... just because it's you, Bella. You do everything to me from make me hard, to giving me butterflies in my stomach."

"_Oh_…" I was stunned, speechless.

"I know we haven't really talked about much of anything, but you need to know. I'm all in. _All in_," he repeated. The rest of his speech came out quickly and nervously. "I never realized how much you meant to me until I fucked things up so badly, and I spent months wishing I had the balls to change things, but I finally did and I don't want to screw up with you ever again. I know that's not realistic, but I truly mean it. I will do anything for your forgiveness, _anything_. You were my best friend, the very best. But now? I think with time, we could be… more."

"More?" I whispered, not sure if he even heard me.

"More," he nodded. "Something happened to me one day, I woke up and I couldn't stop thinking about kissing you, or holding you. But that just made me feel worse, knowing I didn't just lose my best friend, but I lost the only girl I ever loved." His voice kept breaking, and a few small tears escaped his beautiful green eyes, but he continued. "I really think I love you, and I know we're young, but I can't help what I feel. And I know this is a lot to just throw at you, but you just need to know. You need to choose where I fit into your life, because I'll take you in any capacity. I just _need _you, Bella. However I can have you…"

Wow. My mind was staggering, like it just finished running a marathon.

He thought he loved me? But… didn't I think I loved him? Well, aren't we quite the pair… Surprisingly, I didn't need to think much about my choice. I had months and months separated from Edward to think about a scenario like this. All those times I envisioned it in my mind, but it didn't compare to the heartfelt, truthful speech he made.

We were young, and had our whole lives ahead of us. But in reality, things change quickly, which Edward and I knew all to well. Life got in the way, bad things happened to good people. I didn't want to waste any more time, and I always knew I would follow my heart.

Detangling myself from Edward, I stood up and walked over the large window in my living room. It overlooked my back yard, which was green and lush. There were few small brick framed flowerbeds that my mom planted perennials, beautiful colorful daylilies. My favorites were the bright orange ones, but I also loved watching the light faded yellow ones bloom too. The beds that once looked pristine were slightly overgrown, from lack of care.

Turning to look at Edward, I was caught off guard by his expression. His dark eyes were glossy and wet, and he was visibly shaking. Rushing to his side, I knelt down on the carpet, and leaned forward over the couch, grabbing hold of his trembling hands. Our eyes locked, and I began to say my peace.

"I'm afraid you'll leave again. My mother left, my father practically did, and then you. Who's to say it won't happen again? It's one of my biggest fears, and it kills me inside. What makes me not good enough?"

Edward looked so upset, and his mouth opened to speak but I shhed him, "But I know I can't live every day wondering if that'll happen. I need to live in the moment and do whatever makes me happy…"

Releasing his hands, I took my small ones and put them on either side of his face, smiling at him from our close proximity. "Despite everything, _you_ make me happy." My voice was strong and sure, and I leaned in to kiss his nose. "I'm willing to work from the ground up, friendship first. _And_ maybe someday I'll let you kiss me…" I joked, smiling. "But for now? I'm _all in_."

I wanted to keep my love for him to myself. It was really the only thing I had left, and I wanted to protect it as best I could.

Edward visibly relaxed and smiled back at me. "You are absolutely beautiful, strong, caring, and all too forgiving, but I'll take every bit of it… so thank you. We'll do it right, from the ground up." He reached over and pulled me up off the floor from under my arms, and onto his lap like I was a toddler. But I didn't care, because while snuggling into his chest, I felt like I was home.

"Hey, why don't you text Emmett and have them come over at 6? That way we can eat around dinner time then do a few movies, and eat dessert later."

"Oh, yeah okay. Sounds good." He pulled out his phone and made quick work the message, and Emmett replied in seconds.

"Uh…" Edward started, seeming apprehensive. "They said they're bored and wanna come over now."

"Oh." I shrugged, "I guess that's okay. We're not doing anything anyway."

"You sure?" He prompted. Edward was being so considerate, making sure I was okay with this whole night.

"Yeah, let's get this party started," I joked, grinning at him. "Do they need directions?"

"Seriously?" Edward laughed. "Bella, nobody needs directions to your house. It's like common knowledge around here where you live."

"Huh," I mused. "Well, that isn't creepy or anything."

He caught onto my sarcasm, but just shrugged. Grabbing my waist, he pulled me back against his body, safely enfolding his arms around me again.

"I wanna hold you for as long as I can," Edward said as way of an explanation, almost in a pout.

I had absolutely no qualms about being in Edward's arms.

"Mhm, whatever you say E." I wiggled my butt against his crotch, just to see if he was still hard. He hissed in response.

"Fuck! I just controlled that shit," He scolded me.

Giving him my best innocent look, I glanced at him through my lashes and apologized.

Edward groaned and shook his head side to side. "You _are_ going to be the death of me. Between those pretty pouty lips and you grinding on me, I'm liable to explode any second."

I just shrugged, but I was suddenly curious. Who knew I had such an effect on Edward Cullen? I was now going to use this priceless information to my advantage.

"How long have you wanted to kiss me?"

Edward thought for a moment, "Iono… since Christmas?"

"Oh, okay" I replied casually, but then lowering my voice to sound sexy, "I've always wanted to kiss you." His eyes grew so wide it was almost comical. Leaning closer, our faces were almost touching.

"So…" Edward started to say, his breath catching in his throat.

I cut him off by tickling him all over. I knew all his ticklish spots and attacked him with nimble fingers, making him squirm and scream.

"Okay, okay you win!" He said loudly after a few minutes and pushed me away.

Grinning widely, I smacked his stomach. "You really thought I was gonna kiss you, huh?"

"Yeah, so what?" He replied defensively, his lips deliciously pouting.

"Dream on, Cullen."

The truth was that I was about a second away from kissing him, but that would go against everything I said about taking things slowly. Since Edward seemed to be taking cues from me, there could be no mixed signals. As much as I wanted to ravish and kiss that man until next week… it would have to be put on hold for an indefinite amount of time.

Thankfully, the doorbell rang and our guests were here. _Saved_.

"I'll grab the door," I said, pushing myself away from the mess of couch pillows.

Edward looked lazy and content, not moving an inch, "Yes, greet our guests, will you?" He joked.

I walked away, but rolling my eyes.

The bell rang again three more times in succession, and I cried out, "Hold on!"

Unlocking the door, I swung it open, only to be stunned into silence.

AN: Sorry this is so late and not even that long. School and life are my useless excuses, and I've also been having a tough time getting these two characters where I want them. I'll work harder. You guys are awesome. xoxo


End file.
